Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I fail to understand why. Sometimes I feel like a particular group of humankind is cursed or something. Do you sometimes feel like giving up? Giving up life and everything else?
Have you ever thought of doing something and then you get the opportunity to start doing it? And then all of a sudden, something happens. It stops. Just like that. It stops because you can no longer finance it. It stops, not because you’ve lost interest in it, but because you have no means to do it. And then you start to feel disappointed. Very disappointed. And then what. Crazy ideas start to flow into your mind. Like the things you would do with one million shillings. Crazy, right?
And then you start to feel pressure from every living side. Your little sister wants you to service her school fees. Your dad wants his broken bicycle repaired. Your naughty elder brother, yes, the one who dropped out of school and failed to get the basic education, was arrested yesterday for stealing a neighbour’s one month old chicken and wants you to bail him out. You just bailed him out the other day with your two months savings after he was arrested for fighting someone at the local brewery den. Maajabu. Your mum, well, your mum, you have no idea what she wants from you. She is always saying prayers to you. She keeps saying that all shall be well. Of course with time.
So then you start to look into your life. For reasons. If you might have answers to even one of them. But what do you find out? Many questions without answers. And then you say God knows why. And may be He has big plans for you. And so you gotta be patient and wait for the right time. Pray hard and believe God is going to open up ways for you. It is just a matter of time before you start to service your little sister’s school fees. It is just a matter of time before you buy your dad a car. It is just a matter of time before you find your naughty elder brother something to do to help improve his living standard. It is just a matter of time.
© Patrick Lumumba Abonyo