LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE.

image

Dear future wife,
I hope you are doing well. Wherever you are, I want to believe you are
doing great. I want to believe you are enjoying every bit of your
life. I really want to believe you are safe and sound and probably
going through the same system of education as me. Actually, I won’t
mind if your parents, my future in-laws, took you to an international
school as long as the dowry price still stands at the two calves I’ve
always seen my fellow tribesmen take to their in-laws. I’m very
serious about this. Let the number not exceed three. I’m patiently
waiting for you my love of life.

My future wife, I have always joked about my marrying age. Thirty-five. It’s not true. My mum would skin me alive for that. Being her only son, she would wish to see her grandchildren as soon
as possible. I think that
should tell you that time is not on our side. Start getting ready. But
still, I’ll be waiting patiently for your arrival.

Sweetie, I know it’s not right to tell you my problems at this point but I have to tell you this. Well, yesterday morning was one of my worst days. I woke up late. I had to take a shower and prepare myself for school. By the way, I don’t do breakfast in the morning. Not
that sikuwagi na appetite, apana, kupika ndio shida. So, I was almost done with everything when I realized that I had not brushed my
shoes. Shoe brush. I really searched for it. I turned almost everything upside down looking for it. Just when I was almost improvising
(using tissue paper to shine my pair of shoes), I found it next to the tissue paper roll. I was
already late. Baby I think if you were here, it would have not been that hard for me. I mean, two pairs of eyes instead of one would have
helped a lot. One of the reasons we should think of getting married ASAP.

Darling, I like using the social media platforms.
Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, name them. I want to believe that
you are also the same as me when it comes to this. If you are not then
it’s fine. It’s not an offense you know. But if you are like me,
kindly note that I like to keep these three things about myself private:
1. My love life.
2. How and the much money I make.
3. My next move in life.
So please when we
finally get to become husband and wife, try to practice the same.
Currently, I feel bored scrolling down my Facebook news feed because it’s filled with the Betty Kyalo and Denis Okari
divorce issue. It will be our marriage and not the world’s. Our issues will be our
issues and not for everyone to know. Yes.

Finally, I know it’s every girl’s dream to have a colorful wedding. I
really don’t have any problem with that. You will have it. And you will
be the happiest woman in the whole world. Trust me on this. We will be an example of a real marriage. Young couples, after 2 years of our marriage will be coming to seek advice on
marriage from us. 20 years
of our marriage will be the sweetest. I can see us growing old
together. I will still pull a chair for you when you will be 70. I will love you forever.

I have to stop now my love. Please take good care of yourself. And if
there’s a jerk trying to make your life hard, tell him to go to hell. Tell him to go fuck himself.

I love you. Bye. And I hope that this letter reaches you in time.

Yours loving future husband.
PLA.

Advertisements

3 Replies to “LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s